Thursday, September 8, 2011

Ho-Hum

Ok, folks. I'm going to do a big post on the birth story and how we're adjusting so far. So that's coming.

But just allow me to say: C-Sections suck. I know plenty of gals that think they're totally OK. And I'm not sure if they just heal faster/are less wimpy than I am. It doesn't really matter. The point is MY C-Sections kind of suck.

Disclaimer 1: Yes, I am happy that both my boys and I are healthy and that C-Sections exist for medically necessary reasons. Disclaimer 2: Having never had a vaginal birth, I'm sure they suck some ways, too. Especially if the mom has to have a major episiotomy or has major tearing or if the baby has a scary birth experience.
Disclaimer 3: This second C/S has been overall better than the first, and on a scale of "how bad things could be" - not that bad at all.

Blah, blah, blah. The point here is I want to complain.

I don't like being cut open and separated from the birth process because I'm numbed and can't even see the baby entering the world.

Last time they whisked Jack away and I didn't get to see him for an hour or two. At least this time I got to keep Danny with/near me the whole time.

Last time it was about midnight and I was left solo with a nurse who was across the room filling out paperwork while Evan went with Jack (per my request) and I shivered and felt out-of-sorts from the drugs. This time I had arranged for my mom to meet me in recovery, and since Danny (unexpectedly) was allowed to stay with me, it was a big group of me, Evan, Danny, my mom and two chatty nurses. Much better.

I don't like being in what I consider "unnatural" kinds of pain. Being sliced open through several layers (skin, fat, two layers of peritoneum, fascia, and uterus), restitched and stapled, then pumped full of Pitocin to shrink my ute. And then healing from major abdominal surgery. It's fabulous that bodies heal. But they are meant to heal from childbirth. C-sections are different, and they result in more negative complications (on average). Like scar adhesions. Did you know abdominal surgeries are very likely to result in scar adhesions, "a fibrous band of scar tissue that binds together normally separate anatomical structures." In the worst cases, scars from the surgery can attack organs like the bowel or bladder. They can make future pregnancies dangerous because of placenta accreta or percreta in which the placenta grows through the uterus into other structures.

But for me the scar adhesions just make my lower abdomen have a big indentation in it that won't go away and an uncomfortable feeling of never being able to stretch it quite enough.

I'm lucky that I haven't dealt with horrible things like infections or hemorrhages, but my least favorite after-effect right now is the continuing pain. It's been over two weeks, and though I'm down to just a few Advil per day (and could probably get by without anything), it still hurts! Right now it's like a tightness or tugging, with occasional stinging/burning.

It still hurts to sit up from bed or roll over in bed, bend too far or too quickly, walk too fast, carry too much, sit down on the ground or get up from the ground, etc.

Two days ago, I pulled something (an interior stitch or something) and started bleeding a lot. It turned out to not be a big deal, but it was freaky.

And what compounds everything is that I'm an impatient person. It's just over two weeks, but I'm ready to be DONE with the pregnant/recent postpartum stage. I'm ready to stop being fat, but I can't exercise yet, and since I'm breastfeeding and recovering from major abdominal surgery, I can't diet yet (though there's nothing stopping me from eating better).

And I'd love to get out and jog again. I haven't jogged in months, and I miss it. But I can't even pretend to think about it right now. And after Jack, I couldn't jog without pain for MONTHS. Maybe up to 6 months.

Thank God and thank Evan that Evan has been home with me for three weeks straight. I'm quite nervous about Monday when he returns to work.

What keeps me going is the thought that I'll never have to be "two weeks after this particular C/S with this newborn" ever again. It's just going to get easier.

Whew. I'm glad I got that off my chest. And now you can expect a much sunnier post from me next time.

2 comments:

  1. Ugh. I totally appreciate your honesty on this post because although I haven't been in your exact position, it's definitely not all rainbows and sunshine all the time and I think it's healthy and helpful to be real about motherhood, especially how physically hard it can be!

    I'm also glad to hear that you had a better experience this time around - that's awesome. Hope you continue to feel better and I wish we were close by so I could bring you guys a meal!

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  2. Complain all you want, darling! I'll listen anytime. :) {Glad I found your blog too!)

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